i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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