Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
