i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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