going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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