After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize