Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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