I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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