Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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