The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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