Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
