I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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