i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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