they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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