Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
