After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
