Sry I called you an 8
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
