everyone is single if you try hard enough
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
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