i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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