I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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