...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am midnight drunk by noon
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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