Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize