why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
