How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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