i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
