I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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