glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think people are normalizing furries
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
