So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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