Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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