he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
