Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
