you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
