Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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