Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
