Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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