Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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