Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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