i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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