Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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