You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
