i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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