I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize