why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
