your room smells of hookers.
And success
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
