Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
