Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
