Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
