Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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