You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
