Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
