We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
