So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize