Pregnant stripper...not hot.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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