these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
