What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
