dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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