I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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