Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
