I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
