He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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