thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
