Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
