Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
