if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
