She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
