Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
